Some questions are simply better than others for learning about people.
The most basic: Where are you from?
Where you grew up probably matters a ton to you, so it’s also important to understand your teammate, boss, customer, neighbor or friend. It’s a great question that reveals a ton if you listen.
Want to dig deeper?
Find out what the person’s “LIFE LESSONS” are. I think of life lessons as….
- Bedrock principles you won’t shake the person from. They are the foundation to their hard-wiring
- Big moments and memories that shaped their life. Good and bad. Defining moments.
- Who their mentors are and why
- Who had a MAJOR influence on who they are today. In other words, if that person was NOT around, they would not be the same person they are.
You would be surprised at how many people could NOT rattle off their colleague’s life lessons, and sometimes they have known each other for over 10 years! There’s a reason the majority of people never make the far right section of the performance bell curve.
Skill in communication and relationship building are major components for great performance.
Sometimes “big important questions” come off as an interrogation if you are not 100% genuine about trying to learn about the person. It goes without saying, that you actually need to be sincere! Timing is also everything in life. Don’t ask a “Type A personality” who’s having a stress induced day and late for a meeting a deep question, if you want to get a deep answer. Environment certainly plays a role in relationship building.
Most concepts of performance are pretty easy, and don’t take big explanations.
Like tools from the Old School (flashcards) the essence can be reduced to a very small space. Watch the video and see if you agree with Rocky’s Life Lessons below.
Rocky Life Lessons
Rocky’s Life Lesson’s & Bedrock Principles
- Hustle: “I didn’t hear no bell!”
- Attitude Matters: “You see yourself do right, and you do right. Nature is smarter than people think.”
- Motivization & Gratitude: “Your ready aren’t you? If you were here, I wouldn’t be here either, I got no reason to go on. But with you kid, I will stay alive.”
- Commitment: “I’ll never leave you. You’ll be able to take care of yourself outside the ring when I’m gone.”
- This little angel on your shoulder….
Ask yourself, if you were dealing with Rocky (substitute person X) and you knew his life lessons, wouldn’t your relationship be SIGNIFICANTLY better? Of course it would.
It takes work, (HUSTLE!) to get to this place with people. There is no substitute for caring.